Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Owen" by Joshua Moor

Victor: This web comic was submitted to us by the previously mentioned ex-girlfriend who was obsessed with James Kochalka.  Her name is Kathy MacLeod and I would've linked to her website but it seems to be down right now.  She makes comics and is one of two confirmed readers of this blog (the other is Bob Weisz, who has a Google alert on his name).  Owen, does this web comic accurately depict your life?
Owen: No.  Fuck this dude for naming a comic after me that sucks.  I graduated from college and I don't even fuck with Art.
Victor: I recall you fucking with art in college a little bit.
Owen: Nah man.  This comic is fucking terrible.
Victor: This is the worst comic I've ever seen.  It's so bad that I actually love it. I can't stop looking at it.  The stupid fonts, the retarded figuration, the boring bullshit ass nonsense dialogue.  It's perfect. could not ask for better content.
Owen: This is like something I would have made for computer camp class when I was seven.  Except if I was way stupider.
Victor: Why does every dorm hallway look exactly the same? I give him points for using mixed media.  God, this comic is so bad. Oh, sorry, I mean this *cartoon* is so bad.  We should review a Scott McCloud comic.  I think we discussed it before.  Jesus, I can't get over "OWEN."  Even the speech bubbles are retarded.
Owen: Yeah, I guess this doesn't even qualify as "sequential art" or whatever Scott McCloud talks about.  It's just two terribly drawn people some crappy bubbles slapped on them.  I don't think the second guy has legs.  And it looks like he's wearing a leotard.  But I think we need to build up to Scott McCloud since he's like an authority or something.
Victor: It looks like he's kneeling with his feet behind the title box, actually.  But yeah, he's definitely wearing some sort of 'tard. I think it's a unitard.  OK, but like can't it be argued that the fact that there are multiple speech bubbles means that time is passing within the one panel? And since you read the speech bubbles in "sequence" it's, to some extent, "sequential?"  I don't know, he probably touches on that, I haven't read that book in years... It just seems like a silly distinction to make.
Owen: Shit.  I guess your right.  Fuck.  You know what I just realized?  This guy is actually a genius, because the comic is meta, because he's in it.  I think he's the dude who failed art, and the comic illustrates how bad at art he is, and that's why he's going to fail college.  And he tricked us, because we just think it was actually the shittiest comic we have ever seen.  It's kind of like a trompe l'eoil, you know that painting that looks so real that you can't tell it's a painting, and then when you reach out to eat the grapes or whatever, it's actually just a painting.  I guess maybe we should read some more of his comics and see if that theory holds up.
Victor: I don't know if I want to look at the rest of them.  Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Special guest blogger Kathy MacLeod of says: "It had me from the tagline: 'College doesn't suck, but sometimes it does.' ...I imagine the creator as a corny fat bitch and I want to tickle him."  I just had another idea.  Maybe, in addition to being a trompe l'eoil, the cartoon/comic is an attempt at deconstructing the pedagogy of respected sequential art theorist Scott McCloud...
Owen: Yeah.  So I guess this guy is a genius.  We need to stop giving positive reviews to shitty comics.  But, even if it's not supposed to be really smart, the dude is still in college, and this comic makes me want to kill myself a lot less than the shit that was published in the Argus (Boy with Fish for a Head not included in that category), so I guess that's something.
Victor: As a former editor of the Wesleyan Argus comics page, I can attest that this is exactly as shitty as every other comic we published.
Owen: Fair enough.

Monday, January 26, 2009


by Randall Monroe (Some fucking nerd)

Owen: I don't get the joke.
Victor: I think the one on the right is supposed to be Obama and the one on the left is the author.  This is the worst thing I've seen in my life. Or all day.
Owen: I still don't get it.  Why the fuck would he ask that?  Yeah, this comic is always really stupid and nerdy.  And the guy makes a living off of it.  Stupid.
Victor: I think the specificity of what he's actually saying waters down the absurdity--which I think is supposed to be the operative thing in cartoon.  He's trying to do too much.  Physics major.  You know that Scoot Adams used to write "Dilbert will be the number one syndicated comic strip in America" or something to that effect like a hundred times a day until it came true?  He's really big on self-actualization through daily affirmations.  Anyway, this cartoon sucks.
Owen: Who is Scoot Adams?  Oh according to Lee and Tal, John Roberts and Obama screwed up the inauguration because Roberts used long sentences and Obama was nervous.  So this dude is saying that if it had been him he would have started talking about how it's cool to be a woman.  This is kind of like "Garfield Minus Garfield."  It's more like a cry for help than a web comic.
Victor: Scoot Adams is Scott Adams' little brother.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Toothpaste For Dinner T-Shirt

Owen: I like how the image for "Men's" and "Women's" is the same thing.
Victor: Yeah it's cute. Very "Toothpaste for Dinner." Weren't you saying you admired that t-shirt model's boobs?
Owen: Yeah, that's why I made a screen capture of it.  Did you read the comic?
Victor: About wine? Yeah. It's OK.  

aLp photo contest

We just submitted a photo to the Alien Loves Predator dude's photo competition where he's going to put a picture of you in his comic reacting to his terrible jokes.

here's the photo:

(From left: Victor, thumb, Owen)

We didn't really follow the directions, which were to imitate the pose of the predator in the last panel of the comic we reviewed a couple of weeks ago. 

Here's proof of our entry:


Friday, January 16, 2009

"Garfield Minus Garfield"

Victor: I actually find all of these fucking hilarious.
Owen: They're often pretty hilarious, but sometimes they just actually don't make any sense. It's kind of the same joke, everyday.
Victor: I guess I don't read them everyday but just occasionally in chunks. I think they're better that way. This is like the smoking weed of web comics. Kind of boring.
Owen: Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. Did you ever see that thing Bob Weisz did with the Calvin and Hobbes comics?
Victor: I know Jordan Fish did a thing with one Calvin & Hobbes strip once and it "went viral."
Owen: Shit. I haven't seen that. Calvin & Hobbes is really good though.
Victor: Yeah. Like, duh.

Another "American Elf"

We still have not taken down the Christmas tree.

Owen: This is, like, on the level of "Family Circus."
Victor: That is completely accurate.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Pictures for Sad Children

by John Campbell

Victor: This is dumb.  And racist.
Owen: Hey you speak spanish right?  What the hell is this about?
Victor: He said what are you wearing and then kept saying he didn't understand the ghost and then he felt and then he called him a "fucking strawberry" from off-panel.  It's not really racist, I just thought it was funny to say that.  How many web comics look like this?  Like, a lot, right?
Owen: Calling him a "fucking strawberry" is kinda funny.
Victor: I don't find it very funny.  In fact I find it terribly offensive and racist.
Owen: Get off your high horse, man.
Owen: I don't even know what to say to that.
Victor: Yeah, you wouldn't.
Owen: Fuck.  It's true.  I'm a white person.  I would probably love this comic if I didn't know you.
Victor: I don't even know what to say to that.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

American Elf

by James Kochalka

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Owen: James Kochalka would probably cry or something if he ever found this.
Victor: He's a sensitive man from what I gather from his daily web comic diaries. He was one of my young adulthood heroes. I've met him three times and interviewed him twice, once at a comic convention and once at a Burger King. The other time I met him was at his art show in New York. I was with my ex-girlfriend and she was kind of obsessed with him. Wait aren't we supposed to be being mean?
Owen: I kind of like him because he lives in the town I was born in. I just discovered him a year ago though. I actually read his entire diary in like two weeks. I don't really understand what this one is about though. Why does he say "HOORAY" at the end? Do you think he would remember you?
Victor: Don't know. I think he said "HOORAY" sarcastically. We really need to find some web comics we hate and step the game up on this blog cause as it stands we've had one bad review and two non-bad ones.
Owen: Why, because the kid is asleep? Well, we can go to but I don't want to.
Victor: I like It's weird to end a sentence with a website cause then you have the word com in a little period sandwich. Come to think of it, I don't really get why he says "HOORAY" at the end either.
Owen: Yeah.

"Robin in the Rye"

by some guy

Owen: This one is too big.
Victor: Yeah, it took me like fifteen minutes to read or something. But I like it. It made me feel again.
Owen: I thought the part with the creepy old man happens more at the beginning in the book.
Victor: No it happens towards the end. After he gets kicked out of the ho house for not paying he needs somewhere to stay, I'm pretty sure. Nice casting of Batman and Batgirl.
Owen: And Alfred. I still can't remember. Maybe I should read the book again. My Dad gave me this book in the summer when I was twelve.
Victor: Yeah I had just turned thirteen when I read it. It was Thanksgiving. It's pretty good, I'd read it again.
Owen: Wow, I love you, man.
Victor: Shit, I love you too.

"Alien Loves Predator" Sucks

Victor: This comic makes me tired just looking at it. I don't even want to read it.
Owen: I read it. I have no idea what it's about.
Victor: OK, I just skimmed it while you were reading it. Didn't make very much sense to me. The "comics" font is stupid.
Owen: Why is the Alien doing math? Couldn't it just kill everyone?
Victor: Wait, the Alien's doing math?