Some Shit

by somebody we can't find on the Internet




Owen: This is another one from Bob WeiS/Z, but we can't figure out who the actual artist is because it's on LiveJournal, so we don't know if this is actually a reoccurring comic or just some random thing. Anyway, I really like it, even though it's not funny. I also like that "fucking" is spelled "fucken."

Victor: Really? I was kind of bugged by that. But then again, I don't capitalize the word "internet" and you do. DIFFERENT STROKES, YOU KNOW? I don't think it matters if it's reoccurring or not. In any case, I don't really like it. It just seems like another Sentimental Moment Profaned by an Irreverent Statement, which I'm usually down for but feels kind of contrived and awkward to me this time.

Owen: Yeah. You're right. What I liked about it though was that you immediately knew without reading the text that that's exactly what it was going to be, and that there would probably be the word "fuck" in the second piece of text, or something else profane. So I still hate the author, but I think the thing is funny. And I like the drawing. I don't know, who really cares, I have to pee.

Victor: OK, see you later. On further contemplation I believe my problem with the "punchline" though was threefold:

1. The spelling of "fucking."
2. Referring to Piglet as "the pig" is like something that a dad or a screenwriter for a Shrek sequel would say.
3. The reason for Pooh flying off the handle is too arbitrary to justify the radical switch in tone (which was expected in the first place; the agreed-upon pleasure being in "The How," to quote Mark Twain).

Owen: I just got done peeing, although this is like a month later, and rereading this comic I have the exact same feeling, which is that, although it's kind of annoying because it's just a rip off of a lot of other things, like everyone I know making Calvin and Hobbes comics with different words, that are profane. I think what is annoying about it is that you can imagine whoever made this piece of shit sitting at their computer and being like, oh this is great a idea I'm going to make the bear say something really weird and non-nonsensical and that's funny cause this is like a precious children's story. Anyway, I still like it, but would like it more if there wasn't any text.

Victor: So you are saying you like how it sucks? OK, I'm on board with that. It's kind of like William Carlos Williams in that respect.

Owen: Do you even know who William Carlos Williams is? You fucking idiot. It's nothing like that.

Victor: He's the black dude in Star Wars, right?

MONKEY 5.11.09

by Lynda N.

Cat-Fu should only be performed by trained Cat-Fu masters.



Owen: This comic comes via Bob Weisz's comment on our last post. There were many more links. This was the first one we clicked on. There's a website and a LiveJournal. The dog is yelling at the girl because it doesn't want to get off the table.

Victor: I would say the dog is "grrr-ing." Lynda N. needs to shut up. I hate this web comic.

Owen: Your tone has gotten really mean, Victor.

Victor: Shut the fuck up, Owen.

Owen: You don't always have to use profanity to be funny.

Victor: I know, I just really like swearing.

Radical Boy Portable Page 28 5.1.09

by "Beer Before Liquor"



Owen: This comic has been in my google reader for a few weeks now, but I always skip over it because its always way too long for a web comic. I think the guy is making a graphic novella or something out of it. It's sort of about video games, I think? I'm not really sure what's going in this one, is the guy using a garden hose to masturbate?

Victor: I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. This is the stupidest bullshit I've seen in days. Nothing about this pleases me.

Owen: Oh.

Victor: What the fuck is this dude doing with his life? Get a job, man. Get a haircut. Shave that beard. Run a couple laps, you fat fuck. You stupid slob. You're bullshit. Do a push-up. Do some crunches. Cut down on the sweets, sweet tooth. What are you, ten years old? You're like a stupid baby. Idiot asshole.

Owen: YOU FAT FUCK.

Victor: This guy is like the Jay Leno of web comics.

Pictures for Sad Children 4/23/09

by John Campbell



Owen: This comic had this sentence in my Google Reader, which is kind of funny, considering things (like a previous post and something else): "i made this comic and then you read it, we are both to blame."

Victor: Tal, do you want to guest blog on this?

Tal: No.

Tiny Kitten Teeth 4/24/09

by Becky & Frank



Owen: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Victor: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

(Guest Blogger) Tal: I KNOW.

Horribleville 4/19/09

by the same dude

Owen: The title of this comic is "Where is my mind? (Pt1)". Knowing that makes this make a little more sense. But I think it might be a problem that we review comics without going back in the archives to read more of the comic, so we know what the fucking plot and like characters and motifs and all that shit, cause basically we're always reacting to a single comic with no context, and while that should be enough to make reasonable aesthetic judgments, and like, whatever the joke is, it's problematic in the sense that we're sort of predisposed to dislike online comics, which has more to do with our distaste for the genre as a whole, or more like the accumulated experience that we've individually had with comics, which was that we used to really like them, and now we don't for some reason. Or at least we act like we don't.

Victor: I think part of the conceit of this blog is that we both agree to ignore context despite agreeing that the only way to really understand something is to understand its context. We revel in how fun it is to stumble upon something out of context and hate the fuck out of it. Part of the fun is how absurdly little of a chance we give the comics we review. And another part of the fun is definitely what you said about how we used to like comics and now we don't (as much). It's like making fun of an old yearbook or something. I also think hating on comics is pretty funny because comics tend to be something that take a really long time to make but a relatively short time to look at. The futility of it is funny. It's like when you laugh at someone who fell over because falling over shows us our mortality or whatever. I also enjoy just having an excuse to just think "out loud" for a bit. And I enjoy having an excuse to hang out with you, friend. Blogging is very therapeutic. I'm surprised I spelled therapeutic right on the first try.

Owen: I never looked at yearbooks. I guess it's kind of like making fun of a tree house, or maybe Halloween costumes that your mom made you when you were five or something. I mean my mom made me. But it is kind of like mortality. Like when you make fun of a person it's kind of weird, because they have like a whole life, and you're just like, "Hey, fat fuck!" and that's all that happens. But the other problem with the blog is that we don't actually hate the comics enough to talk about them for more than like a sentence before we get distracted by talking about what is weird about our blog.

Victor: Imagine if we tried to turn this blog entry into a comic strip. It would take hours and hours and someone would just read it and be like, "The 'fat fuck' part was kind of funny but I actually have no idea what these people are talking about." Instead, we just blogged, and people are like, "Oh hey, another blog about something, maybe I'll read it later." And then they never do. So in conclusion, we're all going to die eventually.

WE'RE BACK! Gunshow 3/20/09

by KC(?)

Owen: This comic is pretty shitty.  Wanna blog about it?

Victor: Yeah, it's pretty bad. Let's blog about it.  "Frowns: 1" is kind of funny.  "Table? I thought we got a stable!!" is pretty bad.  But yeah this guy should kill himself.  Remember that time I drunk-blogged in all caps about how much I hated Scott McCloud?  We never published that blog post.  Was it because I was like incomprehensibly drunk?  I was 60% serious at least.  Understanding Comics was the only good thing he ever did. Oh hey, guest blogger Lee Pender...

Lee: This is stupid.

Owen: Are you saying the comic is stupid or the blog is stupid?

Victor: I think he's talking about the comic. Are you talking about the comic, Lee?

Lee: Yea.

Owen: Lee is the best blogger.  I remember that rant, Victor, it's still in our drafts.

Victor: Can we publish that shit after this?  For posterity?  I agree that Lee is the best blogger.  Very succinct.

Lee: Earlier when I wrote "this is stupid" I kind of felt like I was Owen or something.

Owen:  I don't what to say. 

Lee: Just end it there.

Victor:  You've said "I don't know what to say" before.

Owen: Yeah, I know.  But I also wanted to answer your question.

Victor: Affirmatively or negatively?

Owen: I was going to say "probably."