We Hate This Web Comic

Re: hahaha

2011-01-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

VICTOR: couldn't get through the second page...

maybe wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com? (guest blogger jordan fish)

On Sat, Dec 25, 2010 at 8:50 AM, Jordan Fish > wrote:

also something a little more.... hmmmm... yes: http://www.viceland.com/int/v16n12/htdocs/comics-sammy-harkham-269.php?country=

On Sat, Dec 25, 2010 at 11:50 AM, Jordan Fish wrote:
http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2010/08/01/vice-comics-ray-sohn/

OWEN: http://www2.warnerbros.com/spacejam/movie/jam.htm

VICTOR: press box shuttle

JORDAN (FISH, GUEST BLOGGER): THIS COST ~75,000 DOLLLARS

VICTOR:

VICTOR: hahahaha

JORDAN: IS THAT REAL??? IS IT REAL? DOES ANYONE SERIOUSLY REALLY ACTUALLY CARE IF SHIT'S TRUE

JORDAN: I WAS REFERRING TO THAT ASSSSSSZ

OWEN: i think it's real.

OWEN: wait the porn or the website?

OWEN: oh.

JORDAN: The Space Jam porn.

JORDAN: ...Site

VICTOR: GUEST BLOGGER JORDAN FISH EVERYBODY

OWEN: hat wasn't my favorite "true chubbo"
also this sammy harkam comic sucks.

Anonymous, on Mar 16, 2010 wrote:
Yeah. S’good.

Anonymous, on Jan 16, 2010 wrote:
I really appreciated this piece. I enjoyed the artistic style and the story which I found engrossing.

Paolo, on Jan 10, 2010 wrote:
New Haven is cool and all, but this story was boring.

Anonymous, on Jan 11, 2010 wrote:
only made it to the second page and im still mad I wasted my time on that.

Anonymous, on Jan 6, 2010 wrote:
zzzzzz
**Anonymous, on Jan 3, 2010 wrote:
There’s really no point in this story. What is it supposed to express, that the main character is a douchebag? Clowes, Tomine or Carver does this kinda stuff a lot better.
Anonymous, on Dec 23, 2009 wrote:
shit noah baumbach try hard

BOB: harvey pekar is probably rolling in his grave that he dug for himself in his front yard and which he slept in every day from 4am-4pm.

BOB: oh wait, he's actually dead. he is buried in Cleveland Heights, next to Eliot Ness.

BOB: still, I bet he and Ness are having a good chuckle about this one.

VICTOR: eliot ness hated web comics

JORDAN: WAIT LINK ME TO THOSE COMICS I WANNA HATE ON THEM

VICTOR: wait what?

JORDAN: Comments wait what is real.

BOB: for real?

OWEN: WHAT?

OWEN: Kevin Costner loves web comics.

BOB: epic fail.

JORDAN: WHAT WERE THOSE COMMENTS FROM
DID U POST THESE TO YOUR WEBBLOG OR WERE THOSE VICE COMICS

OWEN: Real comments from vice comics.

OWEN: Bob "Failblog" Weisz

OWEN: Francis "Failblog" Starlite

JORDAN: Failbong

JORDAN: FrailWhale

BOB: WHAT?

BOB: you wrote "Failbong" at 4:20 pm. epic win.

OWEN: are you in a different time zone?

BOB: Timezone Cowboy

BOB: Central Time Zone, cowgirl. 420 every second of the day.

BOB: I've actually never smoked weed.

JORDAN: CHICAGO IS ILL DOG. I GOT STONED AND WANTED TO FREAK OUT ON WEED THERE LAST NIGHT. REALLY ACTUALLY FREAL.

BOB: were you in chicago, or just wanting to freak out there?

nb: im not anywhere near chicago. but yeah, it's ill(inois)

BOB: #THISISBORING

JORDAN: FIN

JORDAN: Yeah no i was just google imaging it but yeah later B

BOB: later!

VICTOR: "francis 'failblog' starlite" made me "LOL"

we hate this web comic?

2010-08-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

BOB: Yeah, I hate everything about this.

VICTOR: Filled with a rage I can't explain. Or can I?

OWEN: Is this a comic? This is stupid. I think probably most people are just "fuckwads" (what is a fuckwad?) and the Internet just gives us a forum on which to express our "fuckwad" thoughts.

Anyway, explain your rage. I'm confused.

OWEN: Oh he makes penny arcade. This dude sucks.

VICTOR: I actually just glanced at this and sent it to y'all. I barely read or
thought about it at all.

Something about "hypertext" / all perception as reference ... ?

What would Marshall Mcluhan say? (wwmms)

Same vague rage as always I guess.

Y'ALL SMOKE WEED?

I'm actually not even stoned on weed. YET!

Naw but really i gotta go leave the Internet now. Sorry to blog and run.

VICTOR: Oh wait I thought I had to be somewhere ten minutes ago but it just
got bumped to 6.

BACK IN THE GAME

OWEN: Are you stoned on weed yet? I don't really have anything to say. Most of the people who act like assholes on the Internet aren't even doing it anonymously. I think we need to all just realize that the Internet is no longer a separate thing that is not "real" and stop making inane observations about it. But I guess we'd all be out of a job then.

BOB: This is my job?

VICTOR: Wait, Owen, you mean you haven't been paying Bob anything out of the massive amounts of advertising revenue we make from this site?

OWEN: Bob is still working on a "trial basis." I thought that was clear.

james kochalka is making a video game

2010-03-11T01:05:00.000-08:00

Victor: i don't really like playing video games. i really like them in theory and but i usually suck at them in practice. i like looking at them and moving a character around in a video game world but i never liked the stress of trying to win them. the only video game i ever beat by myself were donkey kong country, earthworm jim 2 and star fox. but when i was trying to beat them i would always have a couple of those shitty one or two hours of frustratingly trying to do something hella stupid like jump over a snake or some bullshit. i know some people say those frustrating moments are important in video games because they lend a greater sense of accomplishment when you get to the end but that's on some classical narrative arc shit that i find silly. i don't play video games to feel like i accomplished something because winning a video game accomplishes nothing. most of my anger in those "why can't i just jump over this fucking snake" moments is also thinking "why am i getting so angry about not being able to jump over this snake? there a million more useful things i could be spending my time doing. like what? oh shit, i'm in middle school and life is meaningless!" i've always found the best aspect of playing video games is simply feeling like you're somewhere else for a while. i'm pretty sure the first time i ever heard "moonlight sonata" was on the level of earthworm jim 2 where you turn into a blind cave salamander and have to swim through an intestinal tract. i was like twelve years old and it "BLEW MY MIND" because i was "AN IDIOT." i'm really feeling combining capital letters with quotation marks.

but katamari damacy is probably the only video game i've played that i felt really lived up to my expectations of the artistic potential of video games. and i didn't even beat it, my roommate did and i just played it with no time limit because i just dug rolling the ball around and "hanging out in" katamari damacy. it was pleasant and i for some reason felt like i was somehow learning something about myself and the world (Y'ALL EVER SMOKE WEED?). james kochalka actually once posted a link on his blog to this essay on "world building" in literature/art/games here: http://www.hicksville.co.nz/PerfectPlanet.htm that kind of speaks on that in interesting ways.

but yeah, maybe this "glorkian warrior" game will be good? dude does talk about his ds a lot. pause? i guess he did say he's "very confident" he could make a good game...

also, this is a great wikipedia page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

[shit, blogger doesn't let you rick roll]

Bob: YOUTUBE PREVIEW DUDE

Victor: naw yeah i still think it's funny with youtube preview. it's kind of funnier. but on the real i just spent the last half hour looking at that wikipedia page and remembering all the amazingly wack games i'd play at my friend's house or we'd rent from blockbuster or cop wholesale at toy liquidators:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Chicken

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_Syndrome

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkanoid

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Dudes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Chess
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Skyhawk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destination_Earthstar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatris

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kid_Kool

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mig_29_Soviet_Fighter

then we moved to alameda and we got a super nintendo and i would rent other wack shit from video maniacs across from the produce stand where i would later lose my virginity:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcana_(Super_Nintendo)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballz

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ClayFighter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_Spot

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_Instinct

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Rage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_Rodent

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zool

Victor: i would've rickroll'd all of those but i'm lazy.

Victor: video maniacs is now a multi-level parking lot for a multiplex theater. paul's produce is now dan's produce.

Owen: yeah, i hated video games when i was a kid. basically i didn't have any video games so i would go to my friends house and play, die immediately, and then watch them play for like two hours and then my mom would pick me up and i'd be like, "they suck" and then i'd get in trouble for not having fun. but it's kind of the same thing as not enjoying poker, or scrabble, i just really never care about winning, but i have had good experiences with video games, like blade runner on the computer was definitely my favorite game ever, for sort of the same reason as you were saying victor, it's the closest to really inhabiting a different world as i've ever had in a game, because there is a narrative and you can "win the game" but it's less clear cut than in games like mario or street fighter or whatever. you can also just spend hours wandering around talking to people and doing random shit too. i also really liked the spiderman video game that came out after spider man 2 because the "web slinging" was actually really fun, you could "web sling" all around new york, i think i did that for like two hours.

i think the james kochalka game might be cool. i'll probably play the online version but not buy it. also kickstarter is hell of crazy. people will give money to anyone if they have good graphic design.

for a while i thought that video games were actually really cool, but i don't know about that. i saw some video game art here in shanghai, and it was pretty much the same shit as everyone else who ever does video game art, like nintendo games hacked together, except with like communist shit in it.

i did see some awesome art by liu dao, who i thought was a dude, but is actually a collective of dudes, which is kind of weird but whatever: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Dao

i mean, it's sort of annoying because really i only liked two of the pieces, and now i don't know if they were created by one person or not, but i guess that doesn't really matter. any way it was like interactivy video gamey LED shit. which is so cool!

i really want to play katamari damacy though. what system is that on? we are dorks. hey you guys want to go to barcade? on like march 15 or so?

Victor: hahahaha barcade. i think katamari damacy is on playstation? playstation 2? you realize you are a white man in asia blogging about videogames? CLASSIC NERD!

naw but yeah when i saw the commercial for that spiderman game i figured if i ever played it i would just swing around for two hours and not fight crime. just like if i were the real spiderman. naw i think i would probably "fight crime" (whatever that means) if i were the real spiderman. or maybe just save people from fires. maybe i would rob a bank too. but if i'm fake spiderman why go through all the effort? i'll just swing around.

i also really dig playing grand theft auto with hella cheat codes for that same aimless wandering effect.

but yeah, i think i'm feeling this liu dao shit.

you peep that cory archangel joint at the whitney biennial a few years back?

i really dug it at the time though i was bad at explaining why. i think i still am.

there's also this:

and this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

[shoot, blocked in japan for some reason]

Bob: i cant tell you how much i loved video games as a kid, and as a young adult, and as a somewhat-functioning adult (which is what i call college years), but i don't think i ever got the jazz from winning as most kids did, and in fact, when i felt i was nearing completion of a game, i would purposefully meander and lose lives and play levels over and over just to keep the experience going. i havent played a game in years (except katamari), so this might be the least biased about video games that i've ever been, and if i had to say now, i would figure that for me, growing up, it was totally about that mind-displacement experience. the only thing i loved growing up were movies and video games and comic books and action figures (Y'ALL EVER SMOKE NERD?), all of which were about immersing oneself in a completely different world – and of all of those, video games was the best, for obvious reasons.

I also will admit that I grew up in a household where mental acuity and puzzle-solving were treated as a more admirable quality than anything physical or social, so video games were often an even better outlet for me. having a meaningless goal within a distinct set of rules with effectively zero consequences – which is the basis of every single video game – was exactly what my lil bob brain craved. when the novelty of the mind-displacement experience of a certain game had worn off, i could always fall back on completing that shit for completion's sake.

that being said, katamari is by far the best game i've ever played, i think because it knows and recognizes that that displacement is all video games are about. it knows all ya wanna do affect the world around you, and it does that in the most tactile way video games can allow.

which is why that slinging shit in spiderman was so awesome, and i definitely did that for a couple hours in a best buy once.

im down with archangel stuff definitely, because his shit points out that it's not just straight interactivity that people crave (if they did then his games would be "fun") and it was way ahead on that 8bit lofi haxx0r shit, but im sad that his style's sorta become a trend/aesthetic (though the liu shit is kinda dope) which just sucks cause he made his point so clearly and simply that it don't need to be said again. basically im just annoyed that no video game art has been any better or more adventurous than shit he made 8 years ago.

oh though i did hear about a video that Penn Jillette made called "Road to Reno" or something where you just drive a bus from Vegas to Reno, and it goes real time, so you just drive down an empty road for 8 hours (probably looks a lot like that archangel piece), and when you get there, you get 1 point. And they made so that the bus drifted to the right every so often, so you couldn't just tape down the accelerator button and walk away, you had to sit there and drive it. i thought that was pretty dope. any art that says "You want fun? Fuck You" i fucking love. like that movie Funny Games. and the act of talking to girls.

anyway, is this a blog?

Victor: talking to girls is the most dangerous game.

Bob: see, and some real games were way better video game art than anything today:

Owen: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, life without youtube sucks.

on the other hand, i just watched my 6 year old cousin play lego star wars wii game for like 2 hours (he's still going) and it was totally a lot like the conversation we've been having about video games, like he's a little too young to actually understand what's going (young bob weisz playing video games is hilarious btw) but he's just killing shit with a light saber. (sabre?) and he's completely immersed in the game, like when i ask him if he wants breakfast (he's been up since 6am btw, when he woke me up at 7 he was like "i've been waiting for an hour", LITTLE KIDS ARE INSANE) he doesn't even respond (kind of like victor checking his email at the studio sometimes) and i had to physically move his head so that his eyes were facing me before he even realized i was saying something to him, and he was like, "i'm not hungy" because he's only been playing wii for 2 hours so far. also, my 10 year old cousin actually refers to me as "cuz" like exclusively.

guest comic week

2010-03-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

Owen: so i think there is something called guest comic week going on or something, at least it seems like a lot of people are doing guest comics for other web comics. anyway, i that's how i found this comic because the guy did a guest comic for some other comic that we've made fun before.

Owen: i don't have anything particularly negative to say about it, except that the joke is a pun.

Bob: good pun, and again, being mean to dying people because they're dying is funny.

[i dont know if i ever made that point before but the 'again' worked really well for cadence]

this chick is hot

2010-03-09T07:36:00.000-08:00

Owen: her comic is not good but for some reason i kind of like it

her blog: http://mariakonstantinov.tumblr.com

Victor: what? her comic is hella funny, and gets funnier as you scroll down.
she is so mean to the cat. that's funny. and i read it before i saw
how hot she was so i'm pretty sure it's not just because she's hot
(though she is a "TOTAL BABE"). or maybe the fact that you even said
she was hot had already affected how i read the comic? or maybe the
fact that the comic is funny makes her hotter? like how the chick in
telepathe is cute but becomes a "TOTAL BABE" when she's singing and
doing "COOL FILLS" on the drum machine? maybe also part of why she
seems so hot to me is cause the lady she draws in the comic isn't
particularly hot so i expected her to be not that hot but then so like
in comparison she's hot? i just said "hot" heckof times. why does
this lady draw knees as circles? i guess that's ok. do i only think
that's ok because she's hot? no, i actually think that's ok.

Victor: yoooo also weird is how her stuff:
http://cargocollective.com/mariak#166615/SIGNS looks a lot like my
ex-girlfriend's stuff: http://kathymacleod.com/ who also drew comics
about her cat. WHAT UP, KATHY. do you still read this blog? my bad for
having an internet crush on your internet soul twin. who's my
internet soul twin? momus? naw, that was a joke. kind of an inside
joke. kind of a regular joke.

Bob: i got to this email convo by clicking my "newer" button so didnt read the subject line before reading her comic and i can say, as a dude reading the comic without knowing she was a TOTAL BOMBSHELL RUSSO-CANADIAN HOTTIE 2.0, that cat shit was indeed hell of funny. BUT I MIGHT HAVE A BIAS MYSELF as a former cat master who spent a lot of free time making sure my cat felt sad and abused and unwanted. so like, i got the whole "ITS SO TRUE" tickles in my brain, and that felt good. Then I saw she was a HOTTIE 2.0 and that tickled me another way. and yeah her stuff is totally reminiscent of kathy's shit. though when i first read that comment i thought owen was writing it and was like "whoa owen dated kathy too?" and wondered if that was a weird tension between you two on tour and on this blog and maybe I should reread every entry on wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com to see if there is some underlying tension written into your conversations. but then it was you victor, and now i have nothing more to say.

Victor: TOTAL BOMBSHELL RUSSO-CANADIAN HOTTIE 2.0

Owen:
for some reason, www.saddestcat.com is blocked in china.

bob, you read your email by clicking the "newer" button? that's insane.

i'll reread saddest cat when i get to japan. maybe i'll think it's a good webcomic. we've gotten kind of bad at hating on things. i'll have to find some shitty bull shit to read.

Bob: yeah dude, i was reading an "older" email before your "newer" one, WHAT OF IT

also you're going to japan? THATS INSANE.

you gotta collect some good wacky bass-ackwards physical webcomics while youre there.

also i heard they have dirty panties for sale in vending machines.

Victor: you realize you're a white man in asia blogging about web comics, right? CLASSIC NERD!

Owen: oh god, i'm going to kill myself now.

ha

2010-03-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

Victor: this is funny

do you think jokes about canadians are funny?

2010-03-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

Victor: not really. didn't we write like three reviews about this comic already though?

Owen: three? really? maybe. nevermind!

Bob: i heard the closing ceremonies of the vancouver olympics were a tacky celebration of all the famous stereotypes of canadians, like william shatner singing on top of a giant mounties hat, and maple leaves playing hockey with some mooses, and so on. i wonder if they were trying to finally put an end to those impossibly stale jokes by doing them way bigger and weirder than we've done it (outside of that South Park song at the oscars), like the weird kid at the end of the 80s movie who realizes and embraces his weirdness and shows his true self to his love/school/parents and then none of them make fun of him for that weird stuff any more. why don't we like canadians again? they aight in my book.

also yeah this comic is aight (dot blogspot dot com). yeah it's making fun of canadians, but it's a little absurdist (=hah), and the punchline is pretty well done (=haha). and yeah this is like the third time i seen this dude on this blog.

THIRD TIME, OWEN.

GET YER SHIT TOGETHER.

Victor: i think someone in the comments from the last one we did (the st. francis one) said that the artist is a lady.

Owen: have we really done this three times? i wasn't even paying attention. i heard about that canadian olympics thing though. it sounds totally insane. i wish i could watch youtube right now. also, i met a canadian guy the other day, who lives in shanghai, and he was like so bummed that he missed the olympics in canada, he said it was all that he ever wanted when he was a kid growing up in vancouver. but then he moved to asia or something.

Bob: IF CANADA'S SO GREAT, WHY YOU IN ASIA, DOOD??

Victor: EXACTLY

Owen: he said kyoto was the canada of asia (i'm going to kyoto on sat) but he doesn't even live there. he lives in the new jersey of asia.

Victor: this guy sounds like he sucks

Bob: EXACTLY

this is like a literary online comic

2010-02-26T15:54:00.000-08:00

Victor: this is aight. the art kind of reminds me of reid fleming: world's
toughest milkman which i used to love, or like maybe one of the dudes
who wasn't crumb who did harvey pekar's shit? the writing's whatevs,
inoffensive i guess. thiswebcomicisaightiguess.blogspot.com (heyo bob,
can you rickroll that? my computer's acting a fool again).

Bob: thiswebcomicisaightiguess.blogspot.com

Bob: also yeah this webcomic is aight. i think it floats to the top of the webcomic shitpile just because it doesnt try to do the super egregious or non-sequitous punchline, or worse the super egregious or non-sequitous post-punchline joke (SENOSPPLJ). even though the joke of someone belying their point with their explanation is pretty overused (viz EVERY LINE IN THE OFFICE), its still funnier than not being funny at all. also i think casually admitting to someone that you stalk them is funny. thiswebcomicisaightiguess!

Owen: is it funnier than not being funny at all?

this guy also made something called jugalo news which is also ambiguously funny:
http://therumpus.net/author/jon-adams/

Victor: yo wait this is fucking hilarious

Victor: actually it's going a little long now. whatever, i'll sign off on it. IT'S OFFICIAL.

i think this guy has lost his touch

2010-02-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

Bob: this is like if dan clowes had a baby with dan clowes and they named it dan clowes and then all three got depressed about what was on tv.

Owen: everything in life reminds me of something else that was sort of weird.

Victor: dude with a charlie brown profile picture said: "This is really nicely
done, Andrew. Understated enough that it hits all the right notes. The
lack of panel borders works particularly well too, I think, to convey
these sort of disconnected flashes of thought. I love the subtle
gradient on the game screen."

i feel like a bunch of conversations happened like this when they were
mixing the owl city album.

Owen: AHAHAHA. OWL CITY IS SO BAD. I was literally crying with laughter the first time I saw their myspace.

Also, are we now also making fun of the comments left by the friends of the comics we're making fun of?

Victor: yeah, why not?

man i heard owl city for the first time a couple weeks ago on the
radio. i literally could not believe how wack they were. i thought it
was a parody of the postal service but it's like the number one single
in the us or something.

Owen: yeah, it's kind of amazing. it's like that video of that terrible band we watched last night except if people actually liked it and weren't just watching it because it's terrible (i just reread this and that might not really be that accurate). their myspace pages has photo albums that are just like pictures of balloons and clouds and shit.

the secret though which is kind of disappointing is that they're christian.

Owen: nick earhart showed me their myspace a few weeks ago (it was on superbowl sunday actually) and i totally lost my shit, i couldn't stop laughing.

Victor: ooooh shit, they're christian? that completely explains it.

Bob: who the fuck is owl city?

Bob: OH JESUS CHRIST

Bob: "Owl City has been compared to The Postal Service, with a number of publications going as far as accusing Owl City of "ripping off" the Postal Service.^[1]^[16]^[17]^[18]^[19]^[20]^[21] "

hahaha.

you must be pretty shitty to have a baker's halfdozen of references on your wikipedia entry dedicated to how much you suck

this is definitely a rip off of something

2010-02-25T12:18:00.000-08:00

Bob: its a rip off of how Dinosaur Comics explicates philosophical and existential concepts and then settles or subverts them with very basic human (/dino) thought and emotion. but it's also not a rip off, CUZ IT BLOWS MOGWAI NUTS.

Owen: isn't it more directly a ripoff of something else? i don't really read dinosaur comics.

Victor: mogwai nuts must be so small

Owen:

Bob:

Owen: yo this dinosaur comic just totally fucking destroyed that xkcd comic. also, the dude from dinosaur comics apparently just discovered gradients.

these people make both of these comics

2010-02-24T20:55:00.000-08:00

Owen: i shouldn't even bother mentioning that they are terrible.

Bob: this why i hate bennington.

Owen: are they from bennington?

Bob: if not then these comics just got them full scholarships.

Victor: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH! BURN!

Bob: WATCH IT VIC, YOURE NEXT

NEXT ON THE LIST TO GET A SCHOLARSHIP FROM BENNINGTON

Victor: ZEN KOAN: WHAT'S BIGGER THAN CAPS LOCK?

Bob: i was going to make a BIGGER THAN LIFE joke (it wasnt going to be funny) but when googling it i found something way more interesting and pertinent:

WOW FUCK THIS SHIT, AMIRIGHT?

also this might be a wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com first, when our tangential conversations have led us full circle back to shitty webcomics. high five dudes.

Owen: wow, this comic is unbelievably stupid. this also really proves what we were saying in this comic review: http://wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com/2009/06/hemingway-comix.html
nice work bob. you're really pulling your weight around here.

Bob: I BEEN STUDYING YOU GUYS FOR YEARS

also that comic reminds me of that thing called like Baker's Law or Miller's Law or something, which states that in any type of argument, if you ever use Hitler or Nazism to make a point, your argument is immediately invalidated. i think that should also apply to comics. no matter what, you use Hitler to make a joke (especially with him as a meme), it is immediately unfunny. the only exception is when Evan Dorkin's Third Reich From the Sun. that was pretty funny.

Victor: remember when the internal advertisements on nbc or cbs or whatever referred to third rock from the sun as "third rock?" do you think people in regular conversation ever went "you catch third rock last night?" do you think the successful comedy series thirty rock owes at least some of its success to the fact that it sounds like third rock?

Bob: definitely

this guy is irish

2010-02-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

Victor: hate the irish. they're all monkey men.

Bob: this dude read too much perry bible fellowship and not enough porn.

Owen: this is kind of like the same joke of about 60% of all new yorker cartoons, which is, put an animal (dog, cat, mouse, something weirder) in a situation that a human is supposed to be in (therapy, the bank, a store, college). that's pretty much the whole joke right? i mean, i'm not as offended by this comic as i am by most online comics, but it's still not funny. it's like 'haha' the dog is emotionally scarred and he just told the police, who are apparently taking the dog seriously and maybe they're going to arrest the two boys. and the faces of the boys are really demonic and weird, but i can't tell if that's intended or not. i mean is molestation funny just because it happens to a dog? what is going on? also, i read some of the guys other comics and they i don't get them at all. i guess that's a theme at wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com now. hopefully after we post this some commenter will explain everything to me.

Victor: irish people are cretins, am i right? garbage. filth.

Owen: fuck you man

Victor: what?

Victor: why all the aggression, man?

Owen: oh i thought you were just playing a joke on me cause i'm half irish, but i guess you just actually hate irish people. that's weird, man.

Victor: i don't think it's weird at all. the irish are all ape people. more
animal than man.

Owen: so i'm half descended from more animal than man.

Victor: what's your non-animal side?

Owen: welsh.

Victor: oh god, wales is a demon colony. how did i never know this about you?

Owen: remember when i used to tell girls in england that i was welsh? that was sort of a dumb joke based on something that is probably a little bit true. actually i've never been able to trace my lineage on my dad's side very closely (i also haven't tried that hard), but roberts is a welsh name.

Victor: i hear it's hard to trace welsh lineage because all the welsh just
emerged from one big swamp in central wales. WHAT UP BOB!

Bob: i thought the people that emerged from the big swamp in central wales were the afrocuban jews, who over the course of three hundred years fucked their way across the ocean and america to settle in San Francisco WHAT UP

Victor: yeah this is all detailed in my book FUCK ACROSS THE OCEAN: A BRIEF
HISTORY OF THE HALFRO-JEWBAN DIASPORA

Bob: it's brief because it's literally just 9 drawings of your ancestors hardcore boning on some rafts and handcars.

Bob: but there's a centerfold.

Bob: of just your pubes.

Victor: actually we edited it down to just the pubes centerfold

Bob: good talk guys.

Owen: best blog

yo this sucks and its weird

2010-02-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

Victor: ST FRANCIS OF ASSISI WAS THE PATRON SAINT OF ANIMALS, GET OVER IT

Victor: yo this is kind of hilarious. i kind of think it would be better
without saint francis' brother in it though. like garfield minus
garfield.

Bob: this picture rules

Victor: that picture is a million times funnier than the web comic in question.

Bob: and i found it in the dude's description of why his comic is funny.

Victor: so this guy is alright.

Bob: no it was more like "i'm making fun of st francis for liking birds and here's a bunch of paintings of him with birds as proof that my mockery is valid and funny" and one of them was the aforementioned awesome and hilarious pic with no mention of how awesome and hilarious it was.

but actually i dont really hate this webcomic that much. at least not enough to wanna keep arguing about it. so yeah, this guy is alright.

Victor: oh word. ok. you're alright, bob.

Owen: the other guy who isn't st francis kind of looks like one of the characters from "the critic"

Victor: that's true

Owen: maybe it's something else, i can't remember. i just googled the critic and it doesn't really look like any of them.

Victor: shit, i believed you. it felt right.

Owen: maybe it was a minor character. actually i think he looks like caesar from some animated video. was that disney?

Owen: or like some dude with a fig branch or whatever that greek thing is.

Owen: fuck i can't find it on google but i know exactly what it is.

Victor: it's ok, owen.

Owen: do you think this is a simulacra? i was thinking about that word the other day and what a stupid bullshit word it is and how much people like using and i'm sure i've used it plenty of times when talking to girls about random shit.

Owen: he was wearing a toga. what's an animated disney-esque movie with togas?

Bob: Space Jam

Bob: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hercules_%281997_film%29

Victor: finding nemo.

Owen: gmail is outing your rickrolls with it's youtube preview feature. that's part of why i didn't totally get what was going on when victor sent me that link, cause i watched the whole stupid rick astly video thinking that one of the dumb commentary bubbles would explain what it meant. also, i think hercules is the right answer to my question, but i'm asking the wrong question.

Victor: FUCK! i was going to do the same thing with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacra_and_Simulation

but my shit was too slow.

Bob: wait yeah, he totally looks like the dad from the critic. without the glasses, same face though. what was his name.

Bob: franklin

Owen: close

not quite

Owen: "In an interview, Baudrillard stated that The Matrix misunderstands and distorts his work."

Bob: yeah youre right, not really. its the nose that's similar. i bet it's some throwaway character that was used for a really good joke which is why we all remember.

Bob: JUST LIKE REALITY, MAN

Victor: wow, baudrillard is GOIN IN.

this is another one by the kid who did that funny robin in the rye one we wrote about last year:

2010-02-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

http://wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com/2009/01/robin-in-rye.html

i don't really get this though:

Victor: this is a simpsons reference. if you go back a page it appears to be a pokemon reference. i don't know why this guy is doing this. this reminds of this part of this interview with the dude who directed the lil wayne documentary:

Your documentary shows Lil' Wayne isolates himself from the world with weed, syrup, and headphones. He's completely in his own mental space, but as he gets more isolated, maintains the same level of material output and connects with millions nonetheless. What do you think about this duality?

That's a really interesting question. Is he actually connecting with millions? Or is it a one-way transfer? Is he getting any type of response from the fans? Does he even care? You'd have to ask him that question. I mean I suppose he cares somewhat but I see him more as a Lee Scratch Perry type of musician. He's making the music as a physical release. Like in the same way Jackson Pollack painted. If you stop him from making music he's going to have to find something else to do with himself. Lee Perry said "Music is the only comforter." It's the process that gives life meaning, not the end result.

except i really like lil wayne, lee scratch perry and jackson pollock and i don't really like this web comic.

Bob: victor are you saying it doesnt matter that the end result of this dude's comic-drawing is super shitty because it's the process of drawing comics that gives life meaning? because that would completely negate the purpose of this aggro-blog and deflate my self-worth as a human being all in one fell g-swoop. i hope you are saying that though, cause that's a pretty dope way to say "i quit" or rather "i hate we hate this webcomic"

buuut i dont think yer sayin that, cuz this webcomic sucks and you hate the artistic process as much as the next guy (me). we all know the end result is where it's at. and this end result sucks. it's not a real reference, nor is it even a rip-off, it's a putrid, terrifying amalgam of the two, a straight and poor (like me) copy of the original joke without any modification but to take it out of all the context that made the original funny. there is no way to understand this comic without having seen the original sequence, and even when you have, the poor use of the medium renders most of the jokes NOT FUNNY. why does he combine the act of homer forgetting any bible verse ("d'oh") with him picking up the rock in the same panel? it looks like he accidentally picked up a rock. that is an illogical act. i would like this comic if it were just that panel though, cuz absurdity is way funnier than this poo stain.

also, g-swoop sounds like 50 cent's tv remake of f-troop.

Victor: i don't know, the "aggro" part of this aggro-blog has always been
pretty "wink wink." i think the ultimate point of
wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com is that nothing matters at all. so
yeah i "hate" wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com but i also "love"
wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com.

Bob: i both love and hate that you didn't make that third link a rickroll.

Victor: i stay in basic html, my shit is wack.

Owen: what's a rickroll?

Victor: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling

Owen: why is this wikipedia page go straight to a youtube video?

Owen: fuck i can't find it on google but i know exactly what it is.

Owen: oops wrong thread.

Owen: oh shit i just figured out what a rickroll is that shit it hilarious. i think i did that or thought about doing once but i never knew it was a fucking meme.

Bob: it was such a popular meme that it actually made the word 'meme' a meme

Owen: really?
why don't i know anything

Victor: U SUCK OWEN

Victor: naw, you're alright.

Owen: it's weird that before gmail everyone had pretty different relationships to the internet, and now because of gchat and gmail threads like this one we all have relatively similar relationships to the internet, or like a lot of common ground, like a collective relationship to the internet which has become a catchall of everyone individual internet use.

Victor: according to this site http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm only 25.5% of the world has the internet?

Owen: can't trick me man, google preview.

Bob: isn't it weird how before google preview everyone had this blind faith for the internet but now they just know right out what's going to happen to them, like some sort of internet premonition, like a little rectangular shadow of the future lurking below their thoughts, just waiting to get clicked on. that shit is weird (for 25.5% of the world)

this comic is usually actually pretty good but this one is hella gay

2010-02-18T10:22:00.000-08:00

Victor: wow, what a stinker. this makes me not even like comics in general.

this is kinda funny

2010-02-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Bob: im reddy when yall fags are

Owen: so i think the idea is we're just going to talk about this stuff in gmail convo's and then i'll put it all in a blog post. so like that is going to be part of the blog post. this is meta blogging. this web comic sux! you know what i mean!?

Owen: usually using a walrus in a web comic would come off as a lame gimmick to me, similar to using the word "cheese" as a punch line, which we've already gotten some shit over (ps the commenters on this blog: who are these people?). i think ambien is just funny by itself basically.

Victor: yeah ambien is funny. that walrus is cute. this shit is ok. didn't
we talk about tootpaste for dinner like twice already? also, wasn't
our first "meta blog" going to be the gmail thread where we talk about
taking a wehatethiswebcomic field trip to see the achewood dude and
the other dude talking about being huge losers to a bunch of college
students somewhere with our newest blogger bob weisz? bob weisz is
kind of like the cat or dog or baby that an old couple tries to
revitalize their relationship with. oh also, new style note, i'm not
going to bother capitalizing anymore. also yeah, the people that
comment on this blog tend to be insanely stupid retarded idiots.
especially anyone who gives a fuck about that wack piece of shit
anders loves maria. what are you doing with your lives? do you work at
google or something? why does anyone bother to have any serious
emotional responses to webcomics besides blind rage?

Bob: i like this comic actually, is that allowed? it does remind me of being on ambien. i def wrote some okay comics about being on ambien while on ambien. the walrus and the xg's and the keys are all non sequiturs but the joke is that everything goes non sequitous when y'on ambien, i find. i actually can't remember, but that is also the point i guess. im definitely that catdogbaby, especially when i end up costing way more money and time and energy than the couple ever wanted to put into the relationship and they end up even more miserable and potentially suicidal than before they tried to start loving each other again. i like this new metablogging, but its weird how it went from a kind of organic, internet-on-the-couch type conversation between you two to basically an Expository Speaking session between three stoned high schoolers. also is this metablogging? it seems more like protoblogging. like writing letters and shit. this blog is now like writing letters.

Owen: i read about 60% of that paragraph, but i agree with everything. so how do we decide when we've written a blog post?

Victor: i'm about ready to "let this puppy out" but just a few things: 1.
yeah, liking a web comic is totally allowed. 2. catdogbaby. 3.
"Expository Speaking session between three stoned high schoolers" is a
great "mild burn" and provides a needed dose of "self-criticism" that
will really freshen things up in the bedroom with me and owen. 4.
"protoblogging" is accurate yeah but "metablogging" i think is also
accurate cause we're blogging about blogging. 5. who will actually
read this? 6. will any of this matter when we're all dead?

Bob: 2 and 5 will matter

WE'RE BACK

2010-02-10T15:33:00.000-08:00

yo we're back

Bob:

we hate this web comic road trip?

Owen: perry bible fellowship dude looks way cooler than achewood dude, which isn't a surprise. maybe we could blog about that. although we haven't blogged in about 8 months. bob, do you want to take over our blog? or we could three way it?

Bob: but thats neither here nor there, cuz we're talking about jokes and comics, and yeah pbf dude looks way cooler but reading achewood (more specifically the achewood character blogs) makes me understand a lot about achewood dude's personality and attitude towards life and it really is rather wise and hilarious though ultimately simple, though i guess thats what the strip is about, the complexities of simplicity, which is pretty dope.

in any case yeah i could three way or some shit, i dont have a single feeler or feed out for webcomics, but i be down to look at some more internet bullshit more often. i will also promise to lose steam on the blog in about 3-8 months.

Victor: pause on "or we could three way it" but yeah let's blog this out. maybe we do it in a gmail thread and then "transcribe" it as a blog entry? maybe this is our first entry as a three-person-bob-weisz-

inclusive-gmail-thread blog? and yeah achewood dude looks like a grade a squeezer.

Victor: YOU"RE IN. jordan (CAT)fish (OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!) was telling me catfish is the best shit he's seen in a minute. also, i personally think achewood is more about the complexities of being WACK. (

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

Owen: google wave?

also, i thought perry bible fellowship was a book at terrence's house. it's a web comic???!!!??!?!?!

also, i have terrible web comics in my gmail for days.

also, WE HATE THIS WEB COMIC is 4 life.

ps. i will not be on the internet for the next 1 to 2 hours.

Bob: 5-MINNIT SHITTY COMIC RUNDOWN:

http://www.kawaiinot.com/?p=226
http://www.1977thecomic.com/2008/10/24/folgers-in-your-cup/
http://www.stripteasecomic.com/d/20001016.html
http://www.sideburnsandcigarettes.com/comic3.htm
http://morningsquirtz.com/just_say_hell_no.html

i just searched google for webcomic and went to page 25 and started clicking around. this seems to be a pretty good method.

Victor: GOOGLE WAVE yeah let's get on those old web comics you sent me owen. i blame myself for what will later be known as "the dark ages of we hate this webcomic dot blogspot dot com"

WE HATE THIS WEBCOMIC IS LIFE

Owen: yo i started a googwave and added bob to it but victor isn't on google wave. bob how do i invite him? also, your gmail pic is the same as my facebook pic.

Victor: FUCK GOOGLE WAVE

Owen: yeah fuck this. i'm doing this first comic: http://www.kawaiinot.com/images/kawaiinot_strip226.gif
it's dumb

Owen: so i guess this is the first blog post of the next generation WHTWC?

Victor: yes. my bad, i responded to this gmail thread after i responded to
that other gmail thread (cum whtwc blog post) saying: "wasn't our
first 'meta blog' going to be the gmail thread where we talk about
taking a wehatethiswebcomic field trip to see the achewood dude and
the other dude talking about being huge losers to a bunch of college
students somewhere with our newest blogger bob weisz?" but i like the
anachronistic FLAVA that brings to this VERY IMPORTANT BLOG. (VIB.)

Bob: so wait, are we going on this field trip or not?

i heard das racist wasnt gunna play in boston because apparently they actually have racists there

Hemingway Comix

2009-06-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

Owen: This showed up like six times in my Google reader today. Apparently people like it. What do you think about it?

Victor: I don't like when people think the word "cheese" is funny. And "I am so fucking drunk" is kind of a predictable "non sequitur" punchline but I could imagine myself laughing at it if I was in a different mood maybe.

Owen: Yeah, this didn't make me laugh, it made me think of mocking it on our blog. I think that "In a way, he died in every war" could be a funny line, if it wasn't sandwiched by crap.

Victor: At first I thought his big puffy mariner's sweater was like a Shakespearean type get-up with one of those giant collars and the thing made even less sense. Remember when you asked me earlier if I remembered that comic Non Sequitur? I do. It was pretty good, it got kind of wack in the later years. Was dude hella Christian? It's weird that the spell check doesn't think "sequitur" is a word. Oh wait, I guess because it's Latin. But it's kind of been an English word for a minute...

Owen: Yeah, I remember, that comic was awesome for a while, but I remember it getting really weird and incomprhensible later. Wait, you just left, are we still writing this? I think it probably sucks that people make comics that reference things like Ernest Hemingway in a sort of dismissive way. This isn't actually a joke that you would get if you didn't know who Ernest Hemingway was. I guess that doesn't really matter, but it seems cheap or something.

Victor: Sorry I went to go change the channel cause I'm really not liking Nacho Libre right now. But then I couldn't find anything else and I came back to blog more. Blogmore. What? spellcheck recognizes blogmore as a word but not sequitur. Oh wait, it didn't underline sequitur either. Did it somehow turn off? kjfg OK, yeah.

Owen: I think kjfg is actually a word.

Victor: What?

Owen: Nothing, sorry.

Victor: Nacho Libre is so dumb.

Owen: Yeah, I really don't understand why this movie exists. Oh, and I forgot to say that I couldn't agree more about the "cheese" thing. Also, if Ernest Hemingway ever met the author of this comic he would totally fucking kill him. Easily.

Victor: Oh, what I was about to say was I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea to make a joke about Ernest Hemingway that someone wouldn't understand if they weren't familiar with him. I really think the "cheese" part is probably the most objectionable thing in the comic.

Owen: It's concievable that the author's use of the word cheese was coincidental and he/she doesn't think it's funny either. God dammmit. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Victor: OK, but like even if he was just like, "OK, what word should I use here? Uh... cheese... perfectly neutral cheese..." that's still stupid. Cheese is a bad filler word in general, but especially in a comedic setup.

Owen: Yeah, I know.

Victor: OK, sorry I made you keep blogging after you said you wanted to stop. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? is on now. More like Who Wants to Be on a Boring TV Show? AM I RIGHT?

Metablog: SCOTT MCCLOUD FUCKING SUCKS

2009-06-06T03:00:00.000-07:00

Victor: In this very special wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com blog entry, we are reviewing an old draft (4/23/09) of a review of a Scott McCloud comic on the internet somewhere (now lost) that I started when I was pretty drunk. We never finished it because I think Owen has complicated feelings about Scott McCloud...

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT:

Victor: SCOTT MCCLOUD SUCKS DICK THIS GUY SUCKS SO HARD HIS DRAWINGS SUCK HIS STORY IS BORING LIKE ONE SENTENCE INTO IT, WHAT SOME DUDE AND A CHICK IN SPACE KISSING AND TALKING ABOUT SHIT? FUCK YOU! THIS IS THE WACKEST SHIT. WACK AS FUCK. WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS GARBAGE?

Owen: I am sensing some anger.

Victor: Come on, you don't hate this dude? Don't you hate dude?

Owen: Um, well, actually, after I read Understanding Comics, I tried to get Wesleyan to pay for him to speak there. But they wouldn't. And then I stopped thinking about him until right now, and like the few times we've made fun of him before. So I can't say I hate him, but I probably will if I read any more of his online comics.

Victor: Wesleyan didn't pay for it cause they knew he sucked. This dude is fucking stupid. What the fuck is this stupid bullshit?

Owen: No one at Wesleyan knew who he was. Maybe it would help if you articulated your hatred a little more specifically.

END QUOTED TEXT

Owen: I still haven't thought much about Scott McCloud. He wrote a book that attempts to use a lot of academic sounding theory about narrative and aesthetics or whatever, and a lot of make sense but a lot of it feels like some Freudian shit or something, because it's mostly about what makes sense to him and I think a lot of people believe it because it's written as a comic book and no one else has tried to do anything similar. But it becomes very suspect when you consider that he has no other successful comics, and his fictional work sucks a lot. But, still, I don't feel angry.

Victor: No yeah, I think we've even mentioned briefly in an old entry of wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com (or in real life) at some point that we both dug Understanding Comics but his other shit was pretty wack. But yeah, I guess I would have probably gone to see dude speak. He's like a Freudian William Carlos Williams.

Owen: William Carlos Williams? Really? I don't get that at all, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you know what you're talking about.

Victor: He's the black dude from Star Wars. But you wouldn't get that cause you're not a Trekkie like me.

Owen: Fuck no. You fucking loser. Wait, there's a black dude in Star Wars?

Victor: You know who's a fucking loser? SCOTT MCCLOUD.

Owen: When I was talking to him about coming to Wesleyan he said he needed two hotel rooms or something because he travels with his wife and two kids. I think, I could be misremembering that. Anyway, the dude has a wife and two kids and makes a living drawing bullshit. He doesn't care if he's a loser.

Victor: Yeah he does.

Owen: Okay.

Victor: I WIN!

Owen: Fuck.

Some Shit

2009-06-06T02:11:00.000-07:00

by somebody we can't find on the Internet

Owen: This is another one from Bob WeiS/Z, but we can't figure out who the actual artist is because it's on LiveJournal, so we don't know if this is actually a reoccurring comic or just some random thing. Anyway, I really like it, even though it's not funny. I also like that "fucking" is spelled "fucken."

Victor: Really? I was kind of bugged by that. But then again, I don't capitalize the word "internet" and you do. DIFFERENT STROKES, YOU KNOW? I don't think it matters if it's reoccurring or not. In any case, I don't really like it. It just seems like another Sentimental Moment Profaned by an Irreverent Statement, which I'm usually down for but feels kind of contrived and awkward to me this time.

Owen: Yeah. You're right. What I liked about it though was that you immediately knew without reading the text that that's exactly what it was going to be, and that there would probably be the word "fuck" in the second piece of text, or something else profane. So I still hate the author, but I think the thing is funny. And I like the drawing. I don't know, who really cares, I have to pee.

Victor: OK, see you later. On further contemplation I believe my problem with the "punchline" though was threefold:

The spelling of "fucking."
Referring to Piglet as "the pig" is like something that a dad or a screenwriter for a Shrek sequel would say.
The reason for Pooh flying off the handle is too arbitrary to justify the radical switch in tone (which was expected in the first place; the agreed-upon pleasure being in "The How," to quote Mark Twain).

Owen: I just got done peeing, although this is like a month later, and rereading this comic I have the exact same feeling, which is that, although it's kind of annoying because it's just a rip off of a lot of other things, like everyone I know making Calvin and Hobbes comics with different words, that are profane. I think what is annoying about it is that you can imagine whoever made this piece of shit sitting at their computer and being like, oh this is great a idea I'm going to make the bear say something really weird and non-nonsensical and that's funny cause this is like a precious children's story. Anyway, I still like it, but would like it more if there wasn't any text.

Victor: So you are saying you like how it sucks? OK, I'm on board with that. It's kind of like William Carlos Williams in that respect.

Owen: Do you even know who William Carlos Williams is? You fucking idiot. It's nothing like that.

Victor: He's the black dude in Star Wars, right?

MONKEY 5.11.09

2009-05-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

by Lynda N.

Cat-Fu should only be performed by trained Cat-Fu masters.

Owen: This comic comes via Bob Weisz's comment on our last post. There were many more links. This was the first one we clicked on. There's a website and a LiveJournal. The dog is yelling at the girl because it doesn't want to get off the table.

Victor: I would say the dog is "grrr-ing." Lynda N. needs to shut up. I hate this web comic.

Owen: Your tone has gotten really mean, Victor.

Victor: Shut the fuck up, Owen.

Owen: You don't always have to use profanity to be funny.

Victor: I know, I just really like swearing.

Radical Boy Portable Page 28 5.1.09

2009-05-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

by "Beer Before Liquor"

Owen: This comic has been in my google reader for a few weeks now, but I always skip over it because its always way too long for a web comic. I think the guy is making a graphic novella or something out of it. It's sort of about video games, I think? I'm not really sure what's going in this one, is the guy using a garden hose to masturbate?

Victor: I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. This is the stupidest bullshit I've seen in days. Nothing about this pleases me.

Owen: Oh.

Victor: What the fuck is this dude doing with his life? Get a job, man. Get a haircut. Shave that beard. Run a couple laps, you fat fuck. You stupid slob. You're bullshit. Do a push-up. Do some crunches. Cut down on the sweets, sweet tooth. What are you, ten years old? You're like a stupid baby. Idiot asshole.

Owen: YOU FAT FUCK.

Victor: This guy is like the Jay Leno of web comics.

Pictures for Sad Children 4/23/09

2009-04-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

by John Campbell

Owen: This comic had this sentence in my Google Reader, which is kind of funny, considering things (like a previous post and something else): "i made this comic and then you read it, we are both to blame."

Victor: Tal, do you want to guest blog on this?

Tal: No.

Tiny Kitten Teeth 4/24/09

2009-04-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

by Becky & Frank

Owen: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Victor: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

(Guest Blogger) Tal: I KNOW.

Horribleville 4/19/09

2009-04-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

by the same dude

Owen: The title of this comic is "Where is my mind? (Pt1)". Knowing that makes this make a little more sense. But I think it might be a problem that we review comics without going back in the archives to read more of the comic, so we know what the fucking plot and like characters and motifs and all that shit, cause basically we're always reacting to a single comic with no context, and while that should be enough to make reasonable aesthetic judgments, and like, whatever the joke is, it's problematic in the sense that we're sort of predisposed to dislike online comics, which has more to do with our distaste for the genre as a whole, or more like the accumulated experience that we've individually had with comics, which was that we used to really like them, and now we don't for some reason. Or at least we act like we don't.

Victor: I think part of the conceit of this blog is that we both agree to ignore context despite agreeing that the only way to really understand something is to understand its context. We revel in how fun it is to stumble upon something out of context and hate the fuck out of it. Part of the fun is how absurdly little of a chance we give the comics we review. And another part of the fun is definitely what you said about how we used to like comics and now we don't (as much). It's like making fun of an old yearbook or something. I also think hating on comics is pretty funny because comics tend to be something that take a really long time to make but a relatively short time to look at. The futility of it is funny. It's like when you laugh at someone who fell over because falling over shows us our mortality or whatever. I also enjoy just having an excuse to just think "out loud" for a bit. And I enjoy having an excuse to hang out with you, friend. Blogging is very therapeutic. I'm surprised I spelled therapeutic right on the first try.

Owen: I never looked at yearbooks. I guess it's kind of like making fun of a tree house, or maybe Halloween costumes that your mom made you when you were five or something. I mean my mom made me. But it is kind of like mortality. Like when you make fun of a person it's kind of weird, because they have like a whole life, and you're just like, "Hey, fat fuck!" and that's all that happens. But the other problem with the blog is that we don't actually hate the comics enough to talk about them for more than like a sentence before we get distracted by talking about what is weird about our blog.

Victor: Imagine if we tried to turn this blog entry into a comic strip. It would take hours and hours and someone would just read it and be like, "The 'fat fuck' part was kind of funny but I actually have no idea what these people are talking about." Instead, we just blogged, and people are like, "Oh hey, another blog about something, maybe I'll read it later." And then they never do. So in conclusion, we're all going to die eventually.

WE'RE BACK! Gunshow 3/20/09

2009-04-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

by KC(?)

Owen: This comic is pretty shitty. Wanna blog about it?

Victor: Yeah, it's pretty bad. Let's blog about it. "Frowns: 1" is kind of funny. "Table? I thought we got a stable!!" is pretty bad. But yeah this guy should kill himself. Remember that time I drunk-blogged in all caps about how much I hated Scott McCloud? We never published that blog post. Was it because I was like incomprehensibly drunk? I was 60% serious at least. Understanding Comics was the only good thing he ever did. Oh hey, guest blogger Lee Pender...

Lee: This is stupid.

Owen: Are you saying the comic is stupid or the blog is stupid?

Victor: I think he's talking about the comic. Are you talking about the comic, Lee?

Lee: Yea.

Owen: Lee is the best blogger. I remember that rant, Victor, it's still in our drafts.

Victor: Can we publish that shit after this? For posterity? I agree that Lee is the best blogger. Very succinct.

Lee: Earlier when I wrote "this is stupid" I kind of felt like I was Owen or something.

Owen: I don't what to say.

Lee: Just end it there.

Victor: You've said "I don't know what to say" before.

Owen: Yeah, I know. But I also wanted to answer your question.

Victor: Affirmatively or negatively?

Owen: I was going to say "probably."

If You See Something 3/6/09

2009-03-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

by the Dude who does "Alien Loves Predator"

Owen: This is the comic the guy from Alien Loves Predator started writing after he quit writing Alien Loves Predator, except he didn't really quit writing Alien Loves Predator. It's usually political. This one didn't make sense to me for most of an afternoon, and then I got it. The joke is that both of the video games are mostly just about shooting things. Right?

Victor: No, it's just dumb. And kind of racist.

Owen: It's racist cause she's Indian? That is actually kinda racist. Fuck, I got the joke wrong. I suck at reviewing web comics.

Victor: I'm not sure how much sense this guy is trying to make. His intent is hard to pin down. This seems to tread somewhere between Failed Attempt at Being Absurd and Failed Attempt at Being Funny.

Owen: I'm throwing in the towel.

Victor: DUDE! you can't give up, we're not done! Naw, whatever. I just wanted to also say that after wikipedia-ing around for like three seconds, bindis appear to have "no longer signify age, marital status, religious background, or ethnic affliliation" in their modern usage. Just saying.

Owen: That bold text looks good.

Victor: Bolding shit is a cool look.

Buttersafe 3/5/09

2009-03-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

by Alex Culang and Raynato Castro

via Lauren Gardner

Owen: We were going to do another one from this website, but then we liked this one better. This is funny. I like the little ghost guy with the pineapples. This resembles other shitty web comics, but manages to be funny by not being lame.

Victor: I like how the pineapple man disappears before the windshield glass that he shattered even had time to fall to the ground/car's hood.

New Blog Style Note #2

2009-03-05T13:49:00.001-08:00

You should note that we have made some changes to the style of wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com. We made the title of the blog, "We Hate This Web Comic" very big, like this:

WE HATE THIS WEB COMIC

But bigger.

We did some other shit too.

Like changing the color of the titles and links and stuff.

Dresden Codak Part II

2009-03-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

Owen: So, to recap from yesterday: We were having a very interesting conversation about the legitimacy of criticism when we were unfortunately relocated and our blogging devolved into Victor being really high and ranting about something. But I want to say that I really agree with what Victor said last night, which was that when you think about something for long enough, any criticism or analysis begins to see arbitrary, pointless and pointlessly subjective. But yet, I can't help but wonder why I feel emotions when I look at web comics and other forms of artistic expression. It's true that I can't really justify any criticism of web comics. But I can't help feeling what I can only describe as hatred when I read many web comics. Usually that hatred is watered down to mostly indifferent disdain, but it still exists.

Victor: I think these feelings you describe might have something to do with the fact that bad art still takes effort, and while you have empathy for that effort, the fact that it was sort of for naught (i.e. they wanted you to laugh and you didn't) is disappointing. You think: someone spent this much time and effort on this comic strip (for example) and was proud enough to put it on the internet so everyone else could look at it and laugh, and maybe his/her friends like it or even strangers like it but for whatever reasons (which are always contextual or "cultural" to a degree in a loose sense of that word) you don't care. And your own apathy towards this other human being trying to make art and communicate his own subjective universe in a way that is somehow "objectively" accessible fills you with a low-grade existential dread maybe? It's kind of sad to consider that anything can be removed of context is meaningless. It makes you wonder about why we do anything. I guess this only a negative thing if you have a qualitative definition of meaninglessness. The more meaninglessness bothers you, the more generally upset you are because the world is full of things that upon close inspection illustrate their own meaninglessness. Also, a joke in a comic strip has the disadvantage of not having the element of surprise that a joke in real life has, as it has an allotted spacetime that has been explicitly designated as a funny spacetime: there is an agreement that when you look at this space for x amount of time you are to laugh. It's the expectation that creates the disappontment, not the thing itself. The root of all suffering is desire. A person decides to read this blog and expects us to talk about why we hate certain web comics and instead they read us doing the old dorm room wankfest and they are disappointed.

Owen: I hate you.

Victor: Fair enough.

Owen: But I agree that the root of all suffering is desire, which only really applies to my life in terms of art.

Victor: And hats.

Dresden Codak

2009-03-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

by Aaron S. Diaz

Owen: Well. This comic uses a lot of big words and symbols and formulas. Making it pretty hard to make fun of. However, I'm pretty sure that it's not funny. I do like the drawings though. It's a bit "Tony Millionaire", especially with the combination of detailed drawings and esoteric words.

Victor: I think anything is pretty easy to make fun of. Watch this: THIS SHIT IS WACK. See? Naw actually I liked the drawings a lot. I feel you on the Tony Millionaire. Plus a little bit of Edward Gorey and that Finnish chick Tove Jansson. GOOGLE THAT. For some reason I laughed at "I possess absolute causal knowledge of the Universe!" with his eyes all bugged out. But then I got bored and stopped reading. TOO MANY WORDS DUDE. I REALLY LIKE WRITING IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR THE "YELLING" EFFECT!

Owen: I wonder if it's supposed to be a pun on "carnal knowledge" or if "causal knowledge" is it's own phrase. I googled some things and came to the conclusion that this comic doesn't make any fucking sense. Actually, it's kind of just a lot of references to different things thrown together for no particular reason, kind of like this blog. Do you think it's a viable form of criticism for us to just point out all the other things that certain web comics remind us of, in a way that diminishes their originality?

Victor: Well, before I answer that question Owen, I'd like to point out to our (apparently ten-ish now?) readers that this is the first official usage of a new style we proposed to implement in our previous post. We gave you an example in that post but this is the real deal. OK, so regarding your question, I think the only way I usually think/talk about shit is by referencing other shit, some times to Shit A's credit and sometimes to Shit B's credit or sometimes to the credit of both Shits A and B or sometimes to the credit of neither. I'm not sure what a "viable form of criticism" can/could/should/would/ought look like. I kind of see this blog as us continually realizing that the more you think about anything, the less justification there seems to be for criticizing it and the more arbitrary and absurd our personal senses of aesthetics/etc. are. I think "causal knowledge" is a thing. Let's Google it. OK, Googled it. It does exist. I don't feel like reading about it though. [LOCATION CHANGE NOTE: We just changed locations. We're writing this on another wireless. Live blogging. This girl named Amanda's house, all our readers might not know her. Well Bob, Kathy, Hima and Terence know her at least. Someone just emailed me this link: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Indie-(for-Girls). Pretty fun in theory already and I haven't even looked at it. Oh shit, I forgot that I was writing this in an Editorial Bracket Thing. OK, end brackets.]

Owen: Dude, you are really high right now.

Victor: I know, I know. What were we talking about?

Owen: To be continued...

New Blog Style Note

2009-03-02T18:27:00.001-08:00

From now on we're going to put line breaks in between our "lines" to make it easier to read.

ie:

Victor: This sucks.

Owen: Yeah, I agree with what you said it totally sucks.

Cat and Girl

2009-03-02T18:21:00.000-08:00

by Dorothy(at)catandgirl.com

Victor: I didn't read this. The dude looks like a mix between Catbert and the dude in Achewood.
Owen: Oh, and it's also stealing...what is that comic?...fuck...can't remember...don't care.

Bohemian Drive

2009-02-20T00:53:00.000-08:00

by Kit Roebuck

Owen: There's only one panel from this comic because it's set up in this weird way where you have to scroll across the screen so you can read it, so you can click on the picture to see the rest of the comic. This is the first time this guy has updated this story in like two years or something. You kind of have to have read the whole thing, which is like 75 parts long, but it has the word "bohemian" in it, so I thought you might like it.
Victor: I had an OK time reading this comic.
Owen: Great. I don't really have anything else to say.
Victor: Cut it, print it.

Herman the Manatee

2009-02-20T00:31:00.000-08:00

by Jason Viola

Owen: Where to begin?
Victor: I like the picture of the man.
Owen: I think that's supposed to be Fidel.
Victor: Looks more like Saddam Hussein, actually.
Owen: That wouldn't make any sense.
Victor: This is like underwater Family Circus.
Owen: Oh, that's what the swirly black lines are. No matter how many times I try to read this I can't actually pay attention long enough to figure out what the stupid manatees are talking about. This is so terrible.
Victor: No, yeah, the same exact thing keeps happening with me.
Owen: Who comes up with this shit? Why do you people do this?
Victor: What else is there to do?

A Softer World

2009-02-20T00:29:00.001-08:00

by The Worst Person Ever

Victor: This comic is like Blues Traveler.

Dinosaur Comics

2009-02-20T00:21:00.000-08:00

by Ryan North

Owen: I don't really have any feelings about this comic, but I figured we should cover it because it's a mainstay of the web comic world, and whenever I read it it just kind of annoys me. I don't understand what this is about at all.
Victor: I dig that he's always about to step on a house and then we don't ever find out if he does. There's a real sense of mystery. It's like Twin Peaks.
Owen: Oh, man. Let's not talk about Twin Peaks.
Victor: OK.

Maakies

2009-02-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

by Tony Millionaire

Owen: I didn't realize until recently that Tony Millionaire posted this shit on the internet. Did you know that Tony Millionaire was like one of the first generation of arty dudes to move to Williamsburg. He used to publish this comic in a Williamsburg weekly newspaper Waterfront Week before it was in the Village Voice.
Victor: This comic isn't bad... Why are we reviewing it?
Owen: Um. I don't know. I just ran across it the other day and felt like expressing my feelings about it in blog form.
Victor: Did you know one of the dudes from TV on the Radio used to do animation for Celebrity Death Match?
Owen: No. Crazy. Oh, yeah, there was an animated version of this comic that was on Adult Swim. I think we even talked about blogging about it at one point. It's kind of like the craziest thing. It's on YouTube.com.
Victor: I'm pretty sure a lot of shit we like is made by the educated elite living in economically depressed neighborhoods.
Owen: So... What are you trying to say?
Victor: I don't know.

Toothpaste for Dinner 2.17.08

2009-02-19T23:57:00.000-08:00

Owen: This is like the most scenery I have ever seen in this comic. One thing I can say for this dude is that he has a definite style that is pretty cool/quirky but also consistent.
Victor: Yeah, it's called jocking David Shrigley.
Owen: Oh, yeah, that's a good point. But, it's like kind of different.
Victor: Yeah, it's wack.

Casino Comic -- Another one by "old andy pandy"

2009-02-16T19:59:00.001-08:00

Victor: I like this one. Very Emo.
Owen: I can't understand why people gamble or go to casinos. But one time I saw this French movie about gambling with my dad, and it was crazy. I could kind of understand why the two people kept gambling. But I was also like, these people are hella crazy. (Also, if you can tell me the name of the movie write it in the comments, because I can't remember).
Victor: I don't think I've ever gambled in a casino. I think I did a slot machine once but it just seemed like it was broken or maybe I just lost.
Owen: Nuts. Every morning I get coffee from the bodega next to my house when I wake up, and there's like a line of old people at the counter shouting out lottery numbers, and it's always an odd thing to experience after I've been awake for like thirty minutes or whatever. I feel bad for this kid. But it kind of annoys me that he wants us to feel bad for him. But it's also, like, an interesting story, so I'm glad I know about it.
Victor: I noticed in his livejournal comments, someone remarked on how much it was in the style of Chris Ware to which he said it was a "love letter" to Chris Ware. Thoughts?
Owen: Yeah, he totally copped the shit like the "because" arrow and the "but" block from Chris Ware, and I don't think a cartoonist could really do that without being aware of that, but I'm also pretty sure that Chris Ware copped that from some like old comics that you've never heard of because he's a nerd. And I guess this comic and Chris Ware's stuff is about hating your parents, although I think Ware's form of self-loathing is a lot more intense, and kind of gross a lot of the time. It's weird that Chris Ware is like, so important. I was actually talking to Bethany, the Speed Racer blogger, the other night about him. I mean, he's good, but really? I think that Dash Shaw will eventually eclipse that dude if he keeps making awesome things. But I also think that arty comics as a thing could disappear like the fucking newspapers, like, within the year.
Victor: "Arty Comics" is weird as a term. Chris Ware seems to be copping old shit in the interest of saying something. Very apologetically reference-y like someone who's always throwing up air-quotes with their fingers. I think I liken him to David Foster Wallace who also can be a bit too weepy to handle some times (after all he did commit suicide) but end of the day I think they're both pretty brilliant.
Owen: Yeah. I actually think I take back everything I just said. I totally like reading Chris Ware, but I guess I feel weird about reading trendy "graphic novels" which may be a more appropriate term than "arty comics." Even though I actually really like graphic novels. My life is so fucked up.
Victor: You need to straighten up and fly right.

Achewood 2.13.09

2009-02-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

by Chris Onstad

Owen: This comic really resonates with me, cause I have that same relationship with my stomach. And I would totally each something stupid and gross like a Pepperoni Hot Pocket at seven in the morning. And then my stomach would be like, "Fuck you," and I would have a terrible shit about five minutes later. It's like, if I drink a Coca-Cola and eat a hamburger, when I got to the bathroom, my shit is carbonated.
Victor: I didn't read this one. Too many words. Very small text. And my glasses aren't my real prescription, I got them at the drug store.
Owen: Yeah, his comics have been particularly long recently. And the type is super small, which is funny, cause sometimes he does Chris Ware spoofs, and Chris Ware's comic always have unbelievably small lettering that give me a headache to read. But the premise of the comic is that the cat's stomach starts talking to him because he eats shitty things and then he finds out that his stomach has been paying attention to his whole life and shit.
Victor: I like that the talking cat has a talking stomach but there's still too many words. Nice try, Achewood. But no dice.

Toothpaste for Dinner 2.13.08

2009-02-13T15:46:00.000-08:00

by that dude Drew

Owen: This is only funny because it relates to my life. Or maybe it's really funny.
Victor: What's the difference?
Owen: Well, it's like, the author of the comic is speaking to a particular audience, which is like dudes that would give each other synthesizer modules as presents, or are in bands with people who would do that, so I'm like, "Yeah, I know someone who is totally like that. That is so funny." But I think it might also appeal to people who don't know what they are talking about but just think they're nerds. Though I think the joke is a bit flawed, because the first line is funnier than the punchline. I mean, just saying "synthesizer module" in a web comic is pretty funny, and he could have just stopped there, but the punchline is lame. Like, "Ha ha, synthesizers sound annoying." Not that funny.
Victor: I just wrote a long ass thing about the difference between good and satisfying but it didn't make any sense so I deleted it.
Owen: Yeah. I think about that sometimes. Like, Ornette Coleman is good and satisfying, John Coltrane is Good but not satisfying to me, and Ramsey Lewis is satisfying but not good (at least according to other people). But whatever, who cares. One thing that bothers me about this comic is that he says "bar graph" when he means "visualizer." It sort of undermines the authenticity of the comic. And it's surprising, because the author is obviously a huge fucking nerd.
Victor: Wow, I'm in a band with you that uses hella synthesizers and I wasn't thinking about that whole "bar graph" vs. "visualizer" thing. Ornette Coleman is the shit. John Coltrane satisfies me. I think I learned in college that everything is subjective. I don't know who Ramsey Lewis is. But I do read a lot of Foucault, Barthes, and Virginia Wolf. Virginia Wolf is my favorite.
Owen: Everything is subjective.

Anders Loves Maria

2009-02-12T14:48:00.000-08:00

by Rene Engstrom

Owen: I got an RSS subscription to this comic like two weeks ago, and I really can't believe how stupid it is every day. It never makes any sense, and I think it's just about how this dude has a pregnant girlfriend but he's an asshole or something. Drawings=Terrible. Writing=Terrible.

Victor: I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with you on this one, Owen. What the fuck is going on here? I read some other ones dude did that also don't make sense but this is on some late Godard type WTF shit. The drawings are like dude went to SCAD cartooning school and sucked his own dick for two years. I don't even know what that means I just said it.

Owen: I think it's like a pastiche where in the first panel, the dude, Anders, is having sex with some chick who isn't pregnant, and then on the other side his pregnant girlfriend is alone, and in the middle some crazy lady is calling some other chick, and they're all held together by the sound of the daily newspaper hitting the curb outside of their apartments. It's like William Carlos Williams or something. But I think to understand all of the pathos in this particular scene you would have to go back and read this whole fucking comic, which would be worse than reading Mein Kampf like ten times without a break.

Victor: I know you don't smoke weed but are you HELLA HIGH RIGHT NOW? No, but actually thanks for the explanation, I think I get it now: it's poignant. Like Garden State. I really am seeing Carlos Williams too now. And Mein Kampf. All valid reference points. This dude's shit should be on SparkNotes. You remember in college when you would see pretty girls walking around with Ulysses and "The Ulysses Reader" and you were like, "I bet she's smart" and maybe it was true and maybe it wasn't? Or like everyone is smart in their own way?

Owen: Or like a pretty girl reading Discipline and Punish? Or Meditations in an Emergency? Or Thus Spake Zarathustra? Or Orlando? Or S/Z? Or The Man Who Was Thursday? Or Venus in Furs? Or Djinn? Or Summa Theologica? Or Expositio aurea super artem veterem Aristotelis? Fuck you.

Victor: Oh yeah that unauthorized Orlando Bloom biography is pretty dope.

Owen: Virginia Woolf.

Victor: I believe it's spelled: Wolf. Virginia Wolf.

Owen: Neil Gotanda.

Victor: Edward Said.

Owen: Roger Cohen. Sucks.

Victor: Which Cohen brother is he? The one that is now a biological female?

Owen: What? Is that true?

Victor: No, it's a joke. One of the Wachowski brothers is a biological female now though. I think that's what Speed Racer is about.

Owen: I didn't see that. I guess I will have to. You and my friend Bethany both like it. She wrote about it.

Victor: Shit, I'll have to read that later. I know Bethany, she's a nice lady. Speed Racer and Michael Jackson's Moonwalker are tied for Craziest Fucking Movie Ever. Oh, also, this web comic sucks.

Owen: Coda.

We Lost the Alien Loves Predator Picture Contest

2009-02-12T14:33:00.001-08:00

These are the finalists, and here is the winner:

Owen: This is really stupid.

Victor: It's amazing how little I want to read this. I couldn't get past the first panel. I wonder why dude chose the picture he chose. all of the runners up looked exactly the same.

Owen: Dude, I was going to say the same thing. I still think he should have chosen our entry. Fuck him.

Victor: Yeah, I just imagined that picture at the end of this comic and it was hilarious. We're the best.

Owen: Yeah, the dude he chose is just doing exactly what he said you should do and looks completely normal except for his stupid goatee. Idiot. Let's move on to that other comic, this is making angry.

Victor: Owen, you need to calm down. All of this anger is not healthy.

"Owen" by Joshua Moor

2009-01-28T17:52:00.000-08:00

Victor: This web comic was submitted to us by the previously mentioned ex-girlfriend who was obsessed with James Kochalka. Her name is Kathy MacLeod and I would've linked to her website but it seems to be down right now. She makes comics and is one of two confirmed readers of this blog (the other is Bob Weisz, who has a Google alert on his name). Owen, does this web comic accurately depict your life?

Owen: No. Fuck this dude for naming a comic after me that sucks. I graduated from college and I don't even fuck with Art.

Victor: I recall you fucking with art in college a little bit.

Owen: Nah man. This comic is fucking terrible.

Victor: This is the worst comic I've ever seen. It's so bad that I actually love it. I can't stop looking at it. The stupid fonts, the retarded figuration, the boring bullshit ass nonsense dialogue. It's perfect. wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com could not ask for better content.

Owen: This is like something I would have made for computer camp class when I was seven. Except if I was way stupider.

Victor: Why does every dorm hallway look exactly the same? I give him points for using mixed media. God, this comic is so bad. Oh, sorry, I mean this *cartoon* is so bad. We should review a Scott McCloud comic. I think we discussed it before. Jesus, I can't get over "OWEN." Even the speech bubbles are retarded.

Owen: Yeah, I guess this doesn't even qualify as "sequential art" or whatever Scott McCloud talks about. It's just two terribly drawn people some crappy bubbles slapped on them. I don't think the second guy has legs. And it looks like he's wearing a leotard. But I think we need to build up to Scott McCloud since he's like an authority or something.

Victor: It looks like he's kneeling with his feet behind the title box, actually. But yeah, he's definitely wearing some sort of 'tard. I think it's a unitard. OK, but like can't it be argued that the fact that there are multiple speech bubbles means that time is passing within the one panel? And since you read the speech bubbles in "sequence" it's, to some extent, "sequential?" I don't know, he probably touches on that, I haven't read that book in years... It just seems like a silly distinction to make.

Owen: Shit. I guess your right. Fuck. You know what I just realized? This guy is actually a genius, because the comic is meta, because he's in it. I think he's the dude who failed art, and the comic illustrates how bad at art he is, and that's why he's going to fail college. And he tricked us, because we just think it was actually the shittiest comic we have ever seen. It's kind of like a trompe l'eoil, you know that painting that looks so real that you can't tell it's a painting, and then when you reach out to eat the grapes or whatever, it's actually just a painting. I guess maybe we should read some more of his comics and see if that theory holds up.

Victor: I don't know if I want to look at the rest of them. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Special guest blogger Kathy MacLeod of kathyspotsafatbitch.blogspot.com says: "It had me from the tagline: 'College doesn't suck, but sometimes it does.' ...I imagine the creator as a corny fat bitch and I want to tickle him." I just had another idea. Maybe, in addition to being a trompe l'eoil, the cartoon/comic is an attempt at deconstructing the pedagogy of respected sequential art theorist Scott McCloud...

Owen: Yeah. So I guess this guy is a genius. We need to stop giving positive reviews to shitty comics. But, even if it's not supposed to be really smart, the dude is still in college, and this comic makes me want to kill myself a lot less than the shit that was published in the Argus (Boy with Fish for a Head not included in that category), so I guess that's something.

Victor: As a former editor of the Wesleyan Argus comics page, I can attest that this is exactly as shitty as every other comic we published.

Owen: Fair enough.

xkcd

2009-01-26T16:29:00.001-08:00

by Randall Monroe (Some fucking nerd)

Owen: I don't get the joke.

Victor: I think the one on the right is supposed to be Obama and the one on the left is the author. This is the worst thing I've seen in my life. Or all day.

Owen: I still don't get it. Why the fuck would he ask that? Yeah, this comic is always really stupid and nerdy. And the guy makes a living off of it. Stupid.

Victor: I think the specificity of what he's actually saying waters down the absurdity--which I think is supposed to be the operative thing in cartoon. He's trying to do too much. Physics major. You know that Scoot Adams used to write "Dilbert will be the number one syndicated comic strip in America" or something to that effect like a hundred times a day until it came true? He's really big on self-actualization through daily affirmations. Anyway, this cartoon sucks.

Owen: Who is Scoot Adams? Oh according to Lee and Tal, John Roberts and Obama screwed up the inauguration because Roberts used long sentences and Obama was nervous. So this dude is saying that if it had been him he would have started talking about how it's cool to be a woman. This is kind of like "Garfield Minus Garfield." It's more like a cry for help than a web comic.

Victor: Scoot Adams is Scott Adams' little brother.

Toothpaste For Dinner T-Shirt

2009-01-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

from the Toothpaste for Dinner Store

Owen: I like how the image for "Men's" and "Women's" is the same thing.

Victor: Yeah it's cute. Very "Toothpaste for Dinner." Weren't you saying you admired that t-shirt model's boobs?

Owen: Yeah, that's why I made a screen capture of it. Did you read the comic?

Victor: About wine? Yeah. It's OK.

aLp photo contest

2009-01-20T18:32:00.000-08:00

We just submitted a photo to the Alien Loves Predator dude's photo competition where he's going to put a picture of you in his comic reacting to his terrible jokes.

here's the photo:

(From left: Victor, thumb, Owen)

We didn't really follow the directions, which were to imitate the pose of the predator in the last panel of the comic we reviewed a couple of weeks ago.

Here's proof of our entry:

Love,

wehatethiswebcomic.blogspot.com

"Garfield Minus Garfield"

2009-01-16T21:35:00.000-08:00

Victor: I actually find all of these fucking hilarious.

Owen: They're often pretty hilarious, but sometimes they just actually don't make any sense. It's kind of the same joke, everyday.

Victor: I guess I don't read them everyday but just occasionally in chunks. I think they're better that way. This is like the smoking weed of web comics. Kind of boring.

Owen: Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. Did you ever see that thing Bob Weisz did with the Calvin and Hobbes comics?

Victor: I know Jordan Fish did a thing with one Calvin & Hobbes strip once and it "went viral."

Owen: Shit. I haven't seen that. Calvin & Hobbes is really good though.

Victor: Yeah. Like, duh.

Another "American Elf"

2009-01-16T21:33:00.000-08:00

Owen: This is, like, on the level of "Family Circus."

Victor: That is completely accurate.

Pictures for Sad Children

2009-01-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

by John Campbell

Victor: This is dumb. And racist.

Owen: Hey you speak spanish right? What the hell is this about?

Victor: He said what are you wearing and then kept saying he didn't understand the ghost and then he felt and then he called him a "fucking strawberry" from off-panel. It's not really racist, I just thought it was funny to say that. How many web comics look like this? Like, a lot, right?

Owen: Calling him a "fucking strawberry" is kinda funny.

Victor: I don't find it very funny. In fact I find it terribly offensive and racist.

Owen: Get off your high horse, man.

Victor: RACISM IS REAL!

Owen: I don't even know what to say to that.

Victor: Yeah, you wouldn't.

Owen: Fuck. It's true. I'm a white person. I would probably love this comic if I didn't know you.

Victor: I don't even know what to say to that.

American Elf

2009-01-06T22:27:00.000-08:00

by James Kochalka

Owen: James Kochalka would probably cry or something if he ever found this.
Victor: He's a sensitive man from what I gather from his daily web comic diaries. He was one of my young adulthood heroes. I've met him three times and interviewed him twice, once at a comic convention and once at a Burger King. The other time I met him was at his art show in New York. I was with my ex-girlfriend and she was kind of obsessed with him. Wait aren't we supposed to be being mean?
Owen: I kind of like him because he lives in the town I was born in. I just discovered him a year ago though. I actually read his entire diary in like two weeks. I don't really understand what this one is about though. Why does he say "HOORAY" at the end? Do you think he would remember you?
Victor: Don't know. I think he said "HOORAY" sarcastically. We really need to find some web comics we hate and step the game up on this blog cause as it stands we've had one bad review and two non-bad ones.
Owen: Why, because the kid is asleep? Well, we can go to toothpastefordinner.com but I don't want to.
Victor: I like toothpastefordinner.com. It's weird to end a sentence with a website cause then you have the word com in a little period sandwich. Come to think of it, I don't really get why he says "HOORAY" at the end either.
Owen: Yeah.

"Robin in the Rye"

2009-01-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

by some guy

Owen: This one is too big.
Victor: Yeah, it took me like fifteen minutes to read or something. But I like it. It made me feel again.
Owen: I thought the part with the creepy old man happens more at the beginning in the book.
Victor: No it happens towards the end. After he gets kicked out of the ho house for not paying he needs somewhere to stay, I'm pretty sure. Nice casting of Batman and Batgirl.
Owen: And Alfred. I still can't remember. Maybe I should read the book again. My Dad gave me this book in the summer when I was twelve.
Victor: Yeah I had just turned thirteen when I read it. It was Thanksgiving. It's pretty good, I'd read it again.
Owen: Wow, I love you, man.
Victor: Shit, I love you too.

"Alien Loves Predator" Sucks

2009-01-06T21:59:00.000-08:00

Victor: This comic makes me tired just looking at it. I don't even want to read it.
Owen: I read it. I have no idea what it's about.
Victor: OK, I just skimmed it while you were reading it. Didn't make very much sense to me. The "comics" font is stupid.
Owen: Why is the Alien doing math? Couldn't it just kill everyone?
Victor: Wait, the Alien's doing math?